Queer culture has its insiders and outsiders. Me? I'm somewhere in between - in a kind of no man's land where I'm both abject and subject to academic queer discourse which, much as it seeks to resist structuration, has managed to organize itself around a highfalutin center. In this paper, using an ad hoc, campy and at times irreverent methodology, I trace the concept of abjection through three canonical queer works. My writing style - performative autoethnography - resists queer paradigms as I experiment with voice and with different subject positions to bring queer theory down to earth. In short, I play.