This essay examines Slavoj Žižek's claim that the Balkans is the unconscious of Europe. To make such a claim is to treat the entire region as a subject with a failing oedipal structure, which Žižek attributes to the absence of a Cartesian tradition and the proper symbolic authority. As a result of such absence, he claims, the Balkans has withdrawn into its pathological feminine substance and needs to be conquered by the language of the universal subject. This paper places Žižek's work in the context of other versions of colonial psychoanalysis, versions that justify oppression in the name of failed oedipalization.