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In this discussion, I reflect on important lessons in Sue Grand’s paper “Skin memories: On race, love and loss.” I suggest that racial experiencing in both American cultural life and the consulting room embodies aspects of an “adaptive challenge” (Heifetz, 1998) where opportunities and solutions look different to different members of the community or the dyad. Engaging adaptive challenges as they occur in clinical work is most possible when we open ourselves to the different stories differently situated others have to tell in their own voices and on their own terms.