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The author presents an intense exploration of damage, disappearance, masochism, surrender, control, and faith in a single case. The patient experiences her damaged and disappearing self beyond anything anyone can relate to. She connects to a paper by Emmanuel Ghent that seems to address those more intact than she, yet feels tantalizingly close to his concerns. Ghent's paper refers to her therapist, and through it she peeps into her therapist's soul and the hell of wondering if damage she knows can be shared.