This paper explores the implications for clinical work when patient and analyst share a parallel history of traumatic loss. How does it impact our work when we encounter in our patients a place we have known in ourselves? What if this place of similarity is one that feels shameful, one that bears a social stigma? How is it possible for us to be present with our patients, to be both in the experience and able to reflect upon it at the same time, if we share a parallel past of trauma and vulnerability? I examine these questions through the use of clinical material describing my work with a patient whose family history and experience of loss was strikingly similar to my own. I contend that how we carry our histories has a significant and frequently overlooked impact on our work with our patients.