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In trying to convey what it is like 30 years later to reflect on my correspondence with Merton Gill I write about a memory that has stayed the same while changing. As I looked with fresh eyes at the ideas that excited us individually/together, I relived and here try to convey my experience of this extraordinary man while reentering my own self-experience during it. This is indeed an afterword but also such an experiential continuation that I felt his “real time” absence in this discussion as a palpable loss.