Oedipal theory is rife with ghosts of gender and racial trauma. In this discussion of Nathans’ paper (this issue), I argue that the Oedipal landscape is stubbornly alive with history, meaning and atmosphere and it is not possible to render it free of its ghosts in order to repurpose it for LGBTQ inclusion. Ignoring differences between queer and heteronormative families, we continue to understate the complexity of queer living and see a sanitized notion of queer sexuality and family. Instead, I argue we can only disrupt Oedipal theory’s hegemonic reach when alternative narratives disrupt the shared symbolic register. When we expand and supplant traditional theorizing in our social unconscious, we are freer to imagine new ways of living and loving.