Contrasting the work of French child psychoanalyst Françoise Dolto with that of American Relational theorist Jessica Benjamin yields significant shared sensibilities, notably regarding what was in Dolto’s context a radical assertion of the small child as subject who needed to be considered as such, and the role of the parent’s relating and communications in nurturing both subjectivity and agentic desire. However, Benjamin’s writing makes clear not only that the parent’s subjectivity is central to the child’s affective experience, but the waysthe child’s subjectivity takes shape in response to the mix of attunement, rupture, acknowledgment and repair. This makes parenting both riskier and more intimate; children can experience recognition that is inherently mutual, but are also more vulnerable to parental failures of both responsiveness and self-regulation. Relational perspectives are also considered regarding conscious and unconscious parental transmissions as they influence the development of a child’s desire.