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In this article, I reflect on how the war has impacted the therapeutic process and how it has led me toward true relationality in my practice. The therapeutic relationship in the context of war inevitably requires the therapist to bring their subjectivity into the process and to work in the context of shared vulnerability. The war struck like a tornado – not only in my country but also in my personal life and identity. Suddenly, I no longer knew what was important. I recall how, in the first months after the war began, I awoke every day weighing various factors, the significance of which for me then was no longer so clear to me at that time. The only way forward was to listen to my body, emotions, and perceptions, gathering myself piece by piece: What do I want now? What is important in these new conditions? What do I hold on to, and what must I leave behind? Packing an “emergency suitcase” became a metaphor for this existential audit. It wasn’t just about physical things; it felt like I had to decide what to carry into my future and what to leave behind. Every day I grappled with this relentless internal work, defining meanings and determining priorities under conditions where life itself felt precarious. Exhaustion became a constant companion. Despite the dangers of nightly shelling, sleep was a relief – a momentary reprieve from ruminating on decisions and choices that could determine life or death.
In this fragmented state, I returned to the therapeutic process just weeks after the war began. Together with my clients, we restored the structure and therapeutic setting. However, this was a new and profound vulnerability. My previous therapeutic stance, which had generally been more neutral, now had to accommodate a shared traumatic reality. For the first time, neither my clients nor I had the words to describe our experiences (Stern, 1997).
Therapeutic work was both transformed and transformative. The one stable and reliable element became the relational space we we