Tense Hope

For Eiman, Black feminist worksite sister

Hope. Tense. Present simple. Habits, general truths, unchanging situations. You hope because life insists; You hope. You hope in everyday continuities; you hope to eat, to breathe, to witness the sun, to greet somebody. You hope to write something, to read more. You hope to make time enough, and words good enough to do the work required. You hope for analyses that are insightful and/or accurate and when neither, that they might, in some other way, be helpful. You hope to write and know something in the process. The unruly methodology works, you hope.

Hope. Tense. Present continuous. An action currently in progress, the thing you are doing now; You are hoping. You are hoping for readers awake already, as in actively listening to the genocides. You are hoping that words to say this again do not need to be found; that reveille is unnecessary. You are hoping that racism, antiblackness, and misogynoir are basic knowledge not needing to be restated, evidenced, or proved. You are hoping your basic self can bear the disappointment of this hope dashed, again. You do not know if the arrival of The Funambulist is kismet, but you are hoping. You are hoping that the magazine bearing the name of a tightrope walker also bears gifts; inspiration in its pages; signals and prompts; the where to write from that might make the way to go.

Hope. Tense. Present perfect continuous. The actions beginning in the past that are still happening now; You have been hoping. You have been hoping, through many prompts, starts, words, and days, to make a way to go. You have been hoping for junction flow and smooth connection; for the writing to find its wheels. You have been hoping to be led somewhere and not to be taken in all directions except hopeful ones. You have been hoping to read The Funambulist—an excellent publication exploring the politics of space and bodies—more regularly, hence you pay for a subscription. You have been hoping to do more than flick