Widowhood has not been written about extensively. Recent books in the mainstream press have focused on the experience of the acute loss. This paper describes the experience of widowhood of the author and of several other women after long marriages. It considers issues around the acute loss but also on the effects on the “self” over many years and on the adaptations and developmental changes that can occur in later years. These are related to previous aspects of the personality of each person. Psychological development can take place at the same time as the process of mourning. Implications of this experience for clinical work are discussed.