Discussion of Richard P. Alexander's Article, Omnipotence and the Avoidance of Pleasure: A Contribution to the Problem of Separation Anxiety

Dr. Alexander's paper is difficult to discuss because there is little with which to disagree. With his main thesis I am in complete accord. It is my experience, too, that the anxiety of separation can evoke and set in motion a destructive regression. One not infrequently finds that an individual unconsciously strives to stay out of the adult (genital) role in order to maintain an infant-mother type of relationship (symbolically) both for the pregenital gratification involved and (and at times more importantly) to avoid the pain of psychological separation from the symbolic mother which is involved in the process of maturing.

Recently I described how individuation and strivings to develop as a separate and unique individual occur as a result of the normal narcissistic, aggressive and libidinal strivings, and express themselves as a need to establish an identity (second year). Part of the growth process is the development of this identity through a series of stages throughout childhood and adolescence (as Erikson has emphasized) until a final definite, crystallized, consolidated identity is achieved.

However, at the same time, there is also a need to maintain the original mutually reciprocal fusion-type relationship of the early infant-mother symbiosis. The unconscious wish to lose the individual self, to be merged with, be fused with a love object—or a symbolic one, a substitute for the original matrix—is always present and results in a wish to lose the very identity which man constantly struggles to maintain. This is in agreement with Alexander's references to identity and its role in dealing with separation and loneliness.

I agree with Alexander that “a goal of the psychoanalytic relationship is to replenish the weakened ego by making available realistic good experiences which can be introjected.” I described this concept in somewhat different language in a paper reporting on some investigations of the psychotherapeutic process.1 This was pictured as a learning proces