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I wonder if you don't also have a secret reason for sharing this analysis of your dream with me, and I think I have really found it. The dream must also have a relation to me. [Freud to Ferenczi, January 10, 1910; Brabant, Falzeder, and Giampieri-Deutsch, 1993, pp. 122-123].
On the day after the death of his idolized and adored father … he could not resist the temptation to get hold of a little flask of ether used as a drug to stimulate the dying father. He locked himself in a secluded place, and lighted the ether, by which he could easily have caused a great fire, being perfectly aware of the blasphemous and forbidden nature of his action. He still remembered the nearly audible beating of the heart, provoked by the horrible deed. The reaction was contribution and the vow to preserve the memory of the father by thinking of him every day, at least once, for the rest of his life [Ferenczi, 1928, pp. 419-420].
With these words, Ferenczi described a fragment of the training analysis of an anonymous Herr Dr. X, known for his “particularly irreproachable character,” for whom this “reproduction” had a