This article is an autobiographical account of conflicts, both personal and political, that I experienced growing up in South Africa in a context of racism and civil conflict. It speaks to how these conflicts shaped my work as an analyst and as a person. In regard to specific issues that were fore-fronted, these included an interest in the ugly emotions, trauma and dissociation in both victims and perpetrators, the application of psychoanalysis in war zones, the issue of voice, the effects of emigration and the diaspora, the centrality of context, and the dynamics of racism.