After apartheid ended, many White South Africans asked themselves, over and over, “Who was I during apartheid?” and “How did I learn to live in that way?” This article is an attempt to address those questions. In the first part, a personal example is used to illustrate a life lived during the heyday of apartheid. There was a great silence between the races about race. In the second part, I discuss that life and the nature of embeddedness from a relational, hermeneutic perspective with a self psychological flavor. My doctoral dissertation, titled Race, Place and Self (Philips, 2007), was an attempt to examine the nature and influences over the years of different countries and contexts, and disentangle myself from the particular racialized beginnings that were uniquely mine. This article is one part of that journey.