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In 1965, Mulrey theorized an objectifying “male gaze” as always in the back of one’s mind as something that can be taken on or taken in. Drawing on theories of intersubjectivity, I posit an “intersubjective gaze” which offers for the male mutual recognition in the place of mastery. In an an autobiographical sketch, I examine my development as a heterosexual male, focusing on the ways I both submitted to, and pressed against, the pull of “the male gaze,” when considered in oppositon to the “intersubjective gaze.”