We are surrounded by heteronormativity, heteronormativity that as primary frame organizes our experiences around sexual orientation and gender identity and does not leave much room for exploration of subjective experiences regarding gender and sexual orientation. Immediately, and often before we can even register our subjective experiences, we find ourselves thinking in terms of identity categories that have been socially constructed to both conform to and resist the dominant heteronormative frame. This paper explores some of the history of the heteronormative frame, the value of counter-frames (frames that resist or modify socially constructed dominant frames) as well as the possibility of stepping into ambiguity and going “frame-less.” A clinical example is presented of a previously thought to be heterosexual couple, as one member of the couple shifts gender identity categories. This clinical work illustrates the possibilities that can emerge when therapists hold the tension between the need for identity categories and the necessarily limiting nature of these categories.