Nature is our first holding environment – quiet, constant, and often unnoticed. This paper explores how our early experiences of care shape the way we relate to the natural world. Drawing on Winnicott and attachment theory, it asks whether our apparent independence from nature is genuine or a defense against grief and vulnerability. It introduces the idea of the false ecological self, a psychic structure that allows us to know about ecological collapse without fully feeling it. Through a case narrative, the paper explores how mourning, memory, and the possibility of repair live in the body, in the soil, and in shared life.