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This article describes the “tug of war” in parent-child relationships by taking safety and narcissistic needs as examples. From the perspective of relatedness, in an ideal situation, the “I-Thou” relationship model is dominant, and interactive partners maintain a non-confrontational balance. In an unsatisfactory situation, the “I-It” relationship appears repeatedly, and interpersonal interactions will become a battlefield for a “power struggle”. Individuals may use the strategies of entreaty, compliance or submission, avoidance and control to satisfy safety and narcissistic needs. From the perspective of individuation, ideally, the boundary between individuals and others maintains a dynamic balance, everyone gets along well, and individuals are able to experience solitude. In the non-ideal case, there are problems in boundaries between partners: either boundaries are blurred and the individual becomes dependent on others, or others become an appendage of the subject; or the connection is cut off, resulting in loneliness or false independence. Human beings are constantly changing in such an intersubjective tug of war.