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What drives a woman to pay the price of subjugation in order to sustain a relationship? The dynamics are complicated. Perhaps painful loneliness or self-hate results in a drive for a relationship with little mindfulness about the choice.
Joyce Maynard, in her memoir At Home in the World, discusses her relationship with the reclusive JD Salinger. She was an 18-year-old Yale freshman when Salinger, 53, wrote to her in response to an essay she published in the New Yorker. Following many letter exchanges, she moved in with him. Nine months later he dismissed her and told her to leave.
She was devastated. She struggled to regain her center and went on to achieve great success in her profession as a writer and lecturer.
In “The English Professor,” Binnie Klein tells a story with a similar theme of subjugation to a man. In it, she describes feelings of rejection and humiliation that shook her to the core. The tragedy in these kinds of relationships is that neediness blinds reality.
Both stories are inspiring as both women bravely overcame painful experiences and went on to live meaningful lives.