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Winnie the Pooh, in AA Milne’s book, best describes Pam Thorp’s friendship with Patsy: “I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen.” In this deeply moving, revealing and wonderfully written testimony to Pam’s friend Patsy, we experience the vitality and significance of a friendship that begins at age seven and lasts through adulthood. Pam discovers throughout her life that true friends can grow separately without growing apart.
The quality of this friendship that began in early childhood has carved its trace in the mind of Pam. She travels through her life with her friend by her side, even if not physically seen. Neither time nor separation breaks up a good friendship, as Pam wonderfully illustrates.
Pam describes a scene that beautifully illustrates such a deep and long attachment. She reminisces that as a child while playing on the beach with Patsy, “at first we started two separate holes about three feet apart. This advanced version of hole digging involved burrowing down a ways then tunneling laterally until hands met at a midpoint.” What a beautiful expression of love.
I am reminded of my adolescent friend who died of cancer when we were both in our early twenties. This was a very long time ago, but the friendship persists in my mind to this day. Memories of him pop up unexpectedly and continue like waves in the ocean. These moments serve as repeated eulogies. I feel sad for my loss but happy to have him by my side sixty years later.
In literature, friendships and relationships among women are portrayed with sensitivity and depth, as in My Brilliant Friend by Eleanor Ferrante and Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. These books enjoy a universal readership because they demonstrate that people can grow separately and still maintain their connections.
Seems to me that one of the best things about friends is that they are your chosen family.