You do not currently have permission to view the full text for this document. Please sign in to an account with an active subscription or contact support.
Throughout the pandemic, I spent a great deal of time fantasizing about everything returning to “normal.” Mental images of my old routines and sharing space with people outside my immediate family provided comfort during the most isolating days of quarantine. I felt determined and desperate to go back to before, even though I understood this determination was a fruitless mission. Like so many of us, I begrudgingly grasped that Covid-19 would permanently alter my way of life. It was easy to idealize the freedoms I took for granted before March 2020. As the world slowly reopened, however, this desperation was replaced by occasional bouts of unexpected dread. I feared my social skills had evaporated, and I confronted the bleakest reality that I would once again be subject to the cold, unpredictable whims of New Jersey Transit!
Although I endeavor to reflect daily on the incredible luck I have had to be healthy and employed these 18 months, holding the tension between the excitement and anxiety of re-opening feels exceedingly difficult. The home that felt suffocating throughout much of 2020 has recently felt cocoon-like. As I listened to patients express similar ambivalence about reentering, the theme for this section emerged.
The five following pieces explore this subject with poignancy, curiosity, and even humor. One author brings us back to the early years of the AIDS crisis, sharing the experience of reentering his second period of plague. Another pleads with a stylist to fix her woefully neglected hair as she prepares to re-join society. These deeply relatable narratives highlight our universality and interconnectedness. As we gingerly approach reentry, these very connections will help us navigate our shared ambivalence in this pandemic’s fraught, final stretch.