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Sally’s moving and complicated memoir piece confirms why so many people write about loss. The literature on grief is voluminous and resonates with readers of all ages. Two books in particular come to mind: Meghan O’Rourke’s “The Long Goodbye,” about mourning her mother, and Joyce Carol Oates’ “A Widow’s Story,” about the death of her husband. Oates and O’Rourke illustrate how love and loneliness can produce lengthy books in search of meaning.
Mourning the loss of an important person is painful and surreal. But when the relationship is as conflicted and ambivalent as Sally’s was with her mother, there is more confusion and a greater urgency to understand the loss. The experience of writing and hearing one’s own voice creates a space in which one can safely move forward and transcend pain. In doing so, writing can provide a process for change similar to the psychoanalytic process itself.
Sally’s moving account of the last moments with her mother finds us in the hospital room sharing with her the pain of loss and the mystery of death. We feel Sally’s anguish as she attempts to make sense of the end of a complicated relationship. In witnessing the end of life, we are pressed to face our own losses and mortality.
When Sally’s daughter first visits from college, Sally is struck by her strong resemblance to her once “astonishingly beautiful mother.” It is hopeful that Sally’s compassionate acceptance of her mother enables her to better relate to her similarly glamorous daughter. In this way, Sally is given an opportunity to transcend her own conflicts.
No potential conflict of interest was reported by the author(s).