The Renunciation of Love: Dismissive Attachment and its Treatment

The developmental insights of attachment theory as applied to children and adults suggest that insecure attachment correlates with relational difficulties over the course of time. Specifically, individuals with an avoidant attachment style who have been rebuffed by caregivers in childhood will be defensively constricted and unable to love in adulthood. These patients present particular challenges in treatment because they have become organized around avoidance of affect and relationship. Theories of treatment and technique that seem related to the successful resolution of such difficulties are discussed. Curative factors include a focus on defenses against relational longings, interpretation of and provision for certain selfobject needs, and a relatively high level of therapist self-disclosure. It is suggested that an integration of the findings of attachment research with relational theories that focus on treatment has potential to advance psychoanalytic thinking.

The renunciation of love is a theme that has been explored by creative artists in some exceptionally compelling works. T. S. Eliot's Ash-Wednesday, quoted above, depicts the sterility of a life in which desire, striving, and wishes for (divine) love