Couple Therapy from the Perspective of Self Psychology and Intersubjectivity Theory

Central tenets of self-psychology and intersubjective systems theory (e.g., Stolorow & Atwood, 1992) are applied to the understanding and treatment of couple. The concepts of selfobject needs, unconscious organizing principles, and learned relational patterns are used to conceptualize common couples difficulties. A treatment approach is outlined, involving: (1) listening from within each partner's subjective perspective; (2) establishing a therapeutic dialogue through which each partner's selfobject needs, ways of organizing experience, and patterns of relating can gradually be empathically illuminated and transformed; and (3) facilitating new relational experiences with the couples therapist and eventually between the partners. Four concepts of self psychology that are particularly useful with some of the most challenging aspects of couples work are then discussed. Finally, the judicious use of directive interventions with couples is discussed as consistent with this perspective. A case example is used throughout the paper to illustrate key points.