Beyond Doer and Done to: Recognition Theory, Intersubjectivity and the Third

I looked forward to reading Benjamin’s new book Beyond Doer and Done To. My prior experience of the relational school of psychoanalysis was a refreshing alternative to classical analytic thinking. In my preliminary readings, I had struggled to grasp the concept of the Intersubjective Third, particularly its application to clinical practice, and I had been seeking to deepen my understanding of the basic theory and practice of relational psychoanalysis. My expectations were met as this book summarises Jessica Benjamin’s theory of intersubjectivity and further clarifies the concept of the Third. In addition it offers plenty of clinical examples and insights into the actual practice and technique of relational psychoanalysis.

Benjamin revisits her theoretical concepts in every chapter of the book, a repetition which can be tiring at times but allows each chapter to be read as a discreet entity. The first chapter, ‘Beyond Doer and Done to: An Intersubjective View of Thirdness’, provides a useful theoretical introduction to Recognition Theory, Intersubjectivity and the concept of the Third. Benjamin explains how the relational approach departs from the mainstream analytic paradigm; for example, in our formulation of the patient’s past and present, we often conceptualise relationships that are complementary and reactive with roles such as abuser and abused, controlling and controlled, and doer and done to. Benjamin shows how this can perpetuate frustrating early experiences where only one truth – often the analyst’s truth – can survive and the other needs to be destroyed. In her words: ‘Either I am crazy or you are’ (p. 25). She invites us to rethink our analytic stance and to co-create an experience with the patient that goes beyond the above complementary dynamic. This joint venture introduces us to thirdness, a process which is shared and constantly co- created between the analyst and patient and is liable to continuous ruptures and repairs. Starting from a developmental