The Case of Jim1

In July, 1919, in the receiving ward at Saint Elizabeths Hospital there was a blue-eyed, yellow-haired young sailor who aroused everyone's pity. In such agony of mind that his face was all distorted, he had since his admission walked constantly up and down, beating his breast, snapping his fingers and muttering in despair.

On his throat and wrists could be seen the red welts of newly healed razor wounds, showing he had tried to end it all. If one asked what was the matter, he stopped long enough to say that he had let the devil get hold of him and now there was no hope, then resumed his ceaseless agonized pacing. A kind-hearted medical student beside me whispered as he passed us, “I guess that case is hopeless, poor fellow, isn't he?” The remark decided me to tackle the “hopeless case” and see what could be done.

I buttonholed him, took him into a little bedroom, shut the door and sat down. He could not be quiet but walked back and forth across the tiny room like a wild animal in a cage, his hands in his pants pockets hitching them up above his knees. In jerky phrases as he walked he told me his story.

“God has unpardoned me. Once you're born you must stay a man. Once your manhood is gone you can't get it back again. I let the devil get me. I felt my manhood go just like this (waves his hands from breast down over abdomen to pubes). It went right out of me. Now I'm hollow, something is gone out of me, and I can never get it back. I've sinned because Mother told me in a letter not to worry. God had her write that, and I paid no attention and went right on worrying. I disobeyed Him. I can't be saved. I'm dying and I'll go to hell. And I used to have a fine body. Now my manhood is gone right out of me. I felt it go and my mind, too. Just look at me. (On this and other pretexts he exposed portion by portion his entire body with the exception of one foot.) The devil put thoughts in my head, like fellatio, and