You do not currently have permission to view the full text for this document. Please sign in to an account with an active subscription or contact support.
(Continued from page 72)
She mistook the identity of everyone about her, taking them for members of her family in Germany or else for distinguished people. She owned the British Isles and a considerable part of the world. She saw moving pictures on her walls constantly and was herself a “class moving picture actress.” She heard the voices of relatives who were dead and so thought the dead must have arisen. She thought that she was taking an important part in international affairs and pretended to write in seventeen languages, writing criss cross of the paper to represent Chinese. She was busied with trying to prove that the King of England and not the Kaiser caused the war. She pondered over the stories of German atrocities, did not believe them, and made fun of them by pointing to nurses and those around her and saying with a sarcastic laugh “Oh yes, you are a poor little crucified Christian, aren't you?” These atrocities became identified with her own bad conduct in wishing to leave her home. She was haunted by evil spirits. She was a traitor or rather was possessed by the spirit of a traitor, whom she often called Iscariot.
She had an hallucination of Christ on the cross with a blue loin cloth. Blue, she later told, in the course of analysis, was her favorite color. She thought she was wearing blue when she imagined that she had the child by rectum. In addition she said that her mother taught her that blue was the Virgin's color. Blue, then, signifies the holy, or sexless way of having a child which rectal delivery also signifies. She heard a voice say that she was the first one to have a baby from the back. The Christ on the cross dressed in blue signified the same desire for satisfaction of a fundamental instinct without surrender to the contamination of intercourse with a male. The perfect male is veiled in blue and is on the cross which has long been a phallic symbol. Her intense shame when she learned the truth about marriage and reproduction should be remembe