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(Continued from the April issue)
With the beginning of Session 36, he talks about Ellen, with whom he had relations over a period of six months. “We wondered what was going to come out of it—couldn't get married.” He got less pleasure from sexual relations with his wife than with anyone else. “She lay like a log.”
He tells us that in his early dreams “most of the people around me were beautiful women and were exact images of Mother, but Mother would not be in the picture. One of these strange women would be my wife, who was always right with me.” This recollection is connected with a period between the ages of 4 1/2 and 7 years, “at the time when my love for mother was little interfered with.” Between the ages of seven and ten, he did not care for the attentions of the girls who would come to his home “because I was sad about losing my mother's love.” “Among these girls was Reba, but somehow I didn't notice her until the age of ten, when I seemed to be taken to her a lot, as she was almost an exact picture of my mother and reciprocated my affections. She used to love me and pet me more than Mother.” His dreams then began to reproduce his earlier phantasies and “just as in the case of Mother, Reba would not be in the picture.”
His first feeling toward Rhodda was one of envy “because she took up Mother's time.”
“When Rhodda was about five years old and I was seven, she once undressed herself and undressed me, too, and tried to have me have sexual intercourse with her; but I didn't understand what it was all about.”
At the age of eight he often observed that his parents would leave together for their room and return shortly after, “and although I never saw them in the act, I felt in my heart that they were having sexual intercourse.”
He continues: