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In one of his fables, Aesop tells of apes who, having given birth to twins, lavish affection on only one of them. While the one that the mother likes to care for and strains tightly to her breast is smothered to death, the rejected one reaches maturity. The implication is that frustration can stimulate a child to struggle toward growth. In addition to parental care, distance and emotional separation are prerequisites for healthy development. Whereas a child who has too sacrificing a parent may not survive, a child with a less altruistic parent may be enabled, through identification, to reach independence.
The danger of over-protection is also possible in the therapeutic relationship which, as it unfolds, fosters conditions where the patient will make demands on the therapist, who may respond with too protective an approach, thereby lose the necessary emotional distance, become less a therapist and more a gratifying parent. For the patient, therapy may then turn into efforts to wrest additional gratification, while the therapist may feel compelled, without realizing his resentment, to keep the patient happy and satisfied. We may soon encounter a surplus of gifts or services offered indiscriminately and without sufficient therapeutic planning. Praise, encouragement, advice and interpretations may be granted too readily; there may be concessions in fees or appointment hours of too solicitous a regard in matters touching the patient's convenience. More tangibly, in child therapy, there may be toys, elaborate play therapy material, candy, birthday greetings, considerations to the sick child, home visits, camp or escort services, relief funds, scholarships, etc.
In contrast to this is the therapeutic atmosphere where toys or