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Neither a technical work for practitioners nor a simplified “how to find happiness” manual, this small book can be read with enjoyment and profit by both the specialist and the educated general reader.
The author has a rare capacity to translate into words those many nuances of perception and reaction that human beings experience under the rubric of “feelings.” He integrates observations from the vantage point of the therapeutic role with those from literature. His selections from novelists and poets not only attest to the catholicity and sensitivity of his readings; they also serve beautifully to illustrate in non-technical language the subtle distinctions between shades and qualities of feelings far better than does the usual professional jargon, indirectly lending support to Freud's observation that gifted novelists and poets are the truly perceptive psychologists.
Gaylin groups “feelings” under three categories: signals for survival (serving self and group), caution signals (the center is not holding), and signals of success (reaching out and moving up). Each chapter is a lucid essay in itself, and can be read independently. Replete with clinical insights, the chapters deal with such “feelings” as: feeling anxious, guilty, ashamed, proud, upset, tired, bored, envious, used, touched, moved, and good.
Gaylin's approach is to emphasize the evolutionary and adaptive features of emotions and feelings—as signals calling for coping responses, as means of communication between humans, and as modes of reaction that serve survival and the maintenance of inner equilibrium.
The work is replete with epigrammatic and insightful observations. It rests on the body of knowledge of scientific psychiatry and psychology and does not yield to the “pop psychology” often associated with discussions of emotions—such as “let it all hang out,” “get out your feelings,” etc. In Gaylin's view:
when psychoanalysis insisted that certain sexual feelings and behavior ought be accepted without guilt