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Psychoanalytically oriented marital psychotherapy — both for purposes of dynamic understanding and for conceptualizing the treatment process—has been steeped in a search for concepts that bridge the gap between the inner world of the individual and the external, social world of the couple. Successful conceptual bridges have usually involved the application of intrapsychic mechanisms of defense to the interpersonal field (Avery, 1977; Dicks, 1963; Framo, 1970; Main, 1966; Zinner, 1977). To some extent, these concepts have evolved by being directly observed in the marital situation; to some extent, they have evolved indirectly by extrapolation from the patient-therapist field of obser-variation to the marital situation.
Explorations into the psychology of the self and selfobject transferences (Kohut, 1971, 1972) may hold some promise for furthering our understanding of interaction in the couple and may help the clinician to arrive at a more precise formulation and diagnosis of aspects of marital disharmony related to earlier states of attachment. In this article I will focus on self-esteem regulation as it occurs within the marital couple. First, some observations on the marital relationship at both the mature and pathological ends of the spectrum will be discussed. Second, I will examine some of the problems that arise when one attempts to use the marital relationship for the purposes of enhancing and maintaining self-esteem by seeking either to be merged with the idealized partner or to be mirrored by him or her. I will then briefly discuss some treatment considerations.
Kohut has discussed the transformation of narcissism from primitive precursors into a mature self in several publications (Kohut, 1971, 1972, 1977).