Becoming A Father: A Psychoanalytic Perspective on the Forgotten Parent

The man who does not believe in miracles surely makes it certain that he will never take part in one.—William Blake

In this article, I shall attempt to provide an integrative psychoanalytic framework for becoming a father. I shall begin by briefly discussing the general neglect of the father during pregnancy and the early stages of parenting as well as evidence suggestive of the unique contributions made by fathers of the newborn. The next section considers the psychodynamic basis of the male's motivation for fatherhood. The concluding section examines the specific stages of prospective fatherhood from a psychoanalytic perspective. Psychoanalytic and developmental literature is reviewed and integrated throughout with empirical findings, case observations, and personal experience.

Several writers have recently called attention to the neglect of the father during the early stages of parenting. Burlingham (1973) argued for the end of comparative disregard of the preoedipal father in psychoanalytic writings, while has adumbrated on the father as the “forgotten parent” in psychoanalytic literature. Burlingham's (1973) seminal paper invited her colleagues to investigate the psychodynamics of fatherhood, particularly the father's fantasies between impregnation and birth and during the first weeks of his infant's life; his hopes and expectations concerning the child's growth and development; his jealousies of the mother's preoccupation