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A young girl is in despair over love, and so she despairs over her lover, because he died; or because he is unfaithful to her. This is not declared despair; now she is in despair over herself. This self of hers, which if it had become “his” beloved, she would have been rid of in the most blissful way, or would have lost; this self is now a torment to her when it has to be a self without “him.” -Kierkegaard