Discussion: Panelists and Audience*

Rita Frankiel: Ava's discussion was masterful and a real contribution to the ideas that we have been developing in these three papers. I think the case of Nora is a particularly interesting one because she moves through the hiding games sequentially and because she is, of course, struggling initially with the disappearance of her father, and in this confirms my hypothesis about hiding and loss. I've heard numerous case presentations in which a family breaks up and the child in treatment begins hiding in therapy sessions. It seems to be an almost ubiquitous translation of the traumatic loss experience. Although children not traumatized in this way also hide in treatment, and those hidings may well have other meanings, we need to take note of hiding and hoping to be found as the dramatic effort of children to resolve the problem of the disappearance of those to whom they are attached. Could the connection be a clue to the cognitive strategies for recovering from stress and trauma?

Anni Bergman: I also wonder if you would have something to add about the phenomenon of losing things or getting lost. I saw one 18-month-old boy following the birth of his baby brother. He developed an absolute horror of losing things, and he would always lose them and his whole family would have to be engaged in trying to find what he had lost. I think that's an additional loss phenomenon that can be played out, that terrifies the child and can become a character trait. This little boy is now 11, and he still has difficulty with holding on to his possessions.

Frankiel: Anna Freud wrote about this in her paper, “About Losing and Being Lost” .

Michelle Ascher Dunn: It was absolutely beautiful. I think Ava should write a paper on “Trauma: A Terrible Surprise.” The adolescent girl I described, Jessica, did ju