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THE REF is a modern fable of marital reconciliation whose biting despair is half-heartedly patched over with a layer of acerbic, not-to-be-entirely-believed holiday cheer. Like that other dark blending of suicide and “merry Christmas,” It's a Wonderful Life, which is frequently cited in Ted Demme's film, The Ref piles failure upon failure to show just how dreadful life can be, only to pull back and shower blessings on the temporarily restored nuclear family. If The Ref cannot quite bring itself to pull off the coup of the earlier film — reuniting not only an extended family but the community at large—it does find it possible to reconcile the couple to their roles as spouses, working people, and parents.1
On the surface, The Ref is a comic hostage film. A criminal on the lam takes a squabbling couple hostage and finds himself as referee in their long-running marital feud. Armed and dangerous, he's no match for the flashing blades of their verbal blood-letting. Their lives are already more of