On Being a Monadic Subject: Coercion, Choice, and the Use of the Object as Creating the Me-Ness Experience

It is not hidden from thee, neither is it far off.

It is not in heaven, that thou shouldest say,

Who shall go up for us to heaven,

and bring it unto us, drat we may hear it, and do it?

Neither is it beyond the sea, that thou shouldest say,

Who shall go over the sea for us, and bring it unto us,

that we may hear it, and do it?

But the word is very nigh unto thee, in thy mouth,

and in thy heart, that thou mayest do it.

Intersubjective psychoanalysis, which sees mutually shaping interactions, the co-creation of the “third,” and the I—you encounter as building blocks for understanding human development and experience, must constantly deal with the question of the individual existing as an individual within the fabric of his mutually shaping experiences with others1 (Benjamin, 2004; Ghent, 1995; Grotstein, 1997; Mitchell, 1997; Ogden, 1994; Reis, 1999). On the one hand, it is becoming clear that the classical psychoanalytic point of view, which sees the patient (or the developing infant) as “an isolated individual mind” (Stolorow & Atwood, 1992, p. 7), has fallen short in describing the contextual aspects of human existence as they are manifested in the developmental process, the therapeutic encounter, and people's experiences in everyday life. On the other hand, one says “I” and not “we”: There is a basic intuition which tells us that the continuous and stable “I,” which persists beyond the encounter with the other,