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The following is an attempt to delineate a state of mind deemed “therapeutic.” Bion's (1967) paper on “Memory and Desire” has been a prevailing influence. Eigen serves as another source of inspiration (e.g., Eigen, 2005). Yet, and this seems to be the whole point stated succinctly, nothing could have been expressed here that is meaningful unless it was completely owned by self.
First, I would like to address what it is I find I do or do not do as a therapist. It might be noted that all I “do or do not do” is in itself a wrong way of addressing things, for, more accurately, I would say that something happens in the therapeutic encounter and that this “happening” determines my actions and moves as much as it is determined by them. When the process begins, I am taken, so to speak. But—and this I think is essential—comfortably taken.
Mostly, when a patient enters a session I find I do nothing. It is not true to say I listen. Listening is too active, too heavy. When I listen I usually hear, and so the end was prescribed. When I listen, that is, I seek to impose my being (taste, associations, needs of…) on the created field. So I try not to listen. If I do hear the patient I hear him or her despite my not listening, and here a pressure begins to accumulate that is relevant. There is a presence, an intonation, a rhythm of speech that is made apparent, that emerges from, the patient's speech and forces itself, so to speak, on me. I change. This is, admittedly, uncomfortable. I become, for a moment, not myself. I find myself elsewhere. Something is happening to me, some string pulling me somewhere out of myself. I am, each time, and over and over