Chapter 14 The Self in Orientation: Issues of Female Homosexuality

I want to begin by telling you a story. Less than a decade ago, a young self psychologist made a pilgrimage to a faraway seashore. It was summer. She went to learn more about her work from famous teachers who came from all over the world to this celebrated seaside. There would be classes in the morning and then everyone who wanted could go to the ocean in the afternoon. The young self psychologist was quite impressed by the teachers and the gathering. She had come with her partner, also a self psychologist, also a woman, and they decided to go to different workshops and then to come back together. After the first day of classes, they met in their room and decided quickly to drive to one of a number of nearby beaches frequented by their people, the women who love women and the men who love men. They both were quiet until they reached a place on the shore where, as far as they could see, women's heads touched women's heads and male knees knocked casually against each other. Then they both breathed a sigh of relief and turned to each other. Were they doing it in your workshop? they each asked the other. Yes and yes was the answer. And the doing it was the making of negative remarks about their people. Not even subtle negative remarks, which they were used to screening out, but serious ones couched in professional jargon like perversion and derailed development. Did you say anything? No and no. They hung their heads. The following days they went to workshops together. When remarks were