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In this chapter, I present the treatment of a woman I call “Davida.” I have chosen the name “Davida”—the feminized version of “David”—because my patient also has a barely feminized version of a masculine name. I point this out because I think in this case it is an indication of her parents' own preoccupation with gender and their inability to consider with empathy her experience in carrying a name even more unusual than Davida.
We have worked together for 14 years. We began twice a week, quickly accelerating to three and then four times a week. In addition, we soon moved to an hour-long session, because 45-minute sessions “didn't feel right” to Davida.
I am her 11th therapist. She was with some therapists for a short time, others for years. Frequently, these treatments were stalemated. It was rare that she left these therapists; rather, she was told by a number of them that they could no longer be of help to her. Evidently, they felt stuck and frustrated with her; she felt abandoned and “fired” by them.
Although I will give more history in a moment, I'll state now that she was the eldest child of parents who were both prominent psychotherapists in their community. Her first experience with therapy was when she was at the age of six, when she was referred to treatment because she dropped kittens from the roof of her apartment building to see whether they would survive the fall. Also, she threw rocks at other children. Finally she injured one when she hit him in the head. This first treatment ended quickly when the therapist suggested there might be family issues involved. Insulted, her parents withdrew her from that treatment, an act that she has mourned in the course of our work together.