This paper describes the author's experience of working with a patient whose early traumas are re-enacted in the transference relationship. The patient's desire for merger and her fear of actual closeness prevent her from relying on words to communicate. Instead, she conveys her feelings through sadomasochistic enactments in which the therapist is made to feel what the patient feels-left out, devalued, inarticulate, abused. The therapist feels unable to communicate effectively to end the enactment. Eventually, the therapist learns that by being firm, especially around the issue of fee, the patient has a different experience and the sadomasochistic tension between them is altered.