Few psychodynamic thinkers have explored friendship from a self-psychological perspective. Many have suspected, but this study is the first of its kind to demonstrate through a rigorous qualitative research process that selfobject needs are, in fact, experienced in friendships. This phenomenological study offers an in-depth exploration of how 13 midlife women experienced their long-term friendships. Factors promoting structure building and cohesion strengthening are present in friendships. Learning how one's client approaches friendships can offer clinical insight into selfobject needs, since one's pattern of approaching relationships is enacted in friendships. Offering a psychodynamic understanding of friendship deepens therapeutic understanding of self.