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A friend is an “alter ego” (the other self), a copy of the person himself but also someone different from the self. On one hand, it reflects an illusion; but on the other hand, reflects a true encounter and also a discovery of another subject other than the self, which has his own experiences and story. A friend also represents the dilemma of narcissism and the access to the otherness. In this paper, we'll review some ideas regarding 1/ how we have inherited from Freud some very useful concepts to consider intersubjective relations; 2/ to mention some pathology of intersubjectivity, which has been the capture of mirroring (spéculaire): the pathology of mothers who are “friends” with their daughters, a narcissistic transference case and its analysis; 3/ studying adolescent groups; 4/ working with today's adolescents.
The major concept which will be referred to in this paper is Freud's Nebenmensch (someone who is near to us, our “close” one) concept, which he came up with in 1895 to uniquely name the person who understands the child's call adequately (surely the mother, but also anyone who fulfills this function). This concept points to the extraordinary positioning of the analyst, who without hurry, contains and understands; since the correct answer doesn't depend on the immediate response which would actually stop the call. What's recommended to the psychoanalyst who works with adolescents is to become the “close” one.