Found in Translation: A Korean Therapist Trains in America

For a while after I came to the U.S. in August 2016, I continued to have dreams which seemed to show that although I had physically moved to the U.S., my mind still needed time to catch up to that move. In those dreams, I missed my flight to New York because I arrived late to the airport, or I didn't get ready to leave for the airport because I didn't finish packing my huge luggage, or I couldn't bypass someone who was seeking my help, which ultimately made me miss my flight to New York. It seemed as though my mind was gasping for breath while running to New York. Considering all the new and different things surrounding me, it is understandable that my mind needed more time to come to terms with the new physical settlement. The most unfamiliar and different thing that came with my move was my analysis. I started working with my analyst, whose language, race, and culture were all different from my own.

Since I started my psychoanalysis, many people have asked me, “How is it possible?” I am not sure what they mean by this question. Are they asking whether smooth verbal communication between my analyst and me is possible because my mother tongue is Korean and my analyst's is English? Are they asking me how my analyst, who most likely does not know a lot about Korean culture, can really understand me? Or, are they asking whether our racial difference poses an obstacle to entering the unique relationship between patient and analyst? I have not gotten answers to these questions yet, at least none that would satisfy me or those asking them. Probably I need more time to truly be ready to face those questions because I have only been going to my analyst for a little over a year. However, I decided to write this piece, partly because I thought that writing about my experiences would help me organize my thoughts and feelings, and I believe that one day I will be able to look back at this documentation of my thoughts and feelings and learn from this expe