This essay considers Jessica Benjamin's conception of recognition and relationality, concentrating on the role of destruction and of dyadic relations. I argue that Benjamin has tended in her recent work to posit clinical practice as an area in which the destructiveness in relations can be transformed into more productive and even harmonious experiences of difference. Benjamin has also provided a dyadic alternative to the triangular conception of desire and relationality, offering an important alternative to schemes that are restricted to the oedipal model. I ask whether forms of triangulation are nevertheless central to the workings of desire that exceed the purview of Oedipus, in particular, whether understanding the coconstitutive relations of homosexuality and heterosexuality offer a queer approach to triangularity.