This paper illustrates how patients with a history of severe childhood trauma develop aversive and malignant modes of attachment and relating. I contend that this demonstrative hating can become the only secure sense of connection with others that these patients are able to maintain. I believe that in their abusive behavior, both in and out of treatment, are hopeful strivings to be known, to be heard, and, most important, to be vulnerable in the presence of a safe other. When hate becomes the tie that binds or the essential force of vitalization for someone, it becomes the crucial element for psychic survival. In this paper, I briefly discuss trauma theory and present a clinical case to elaborate the underpinnings of a patient's beliefs and how work with such patients poses great strain on both patient and analyst in establishing a manner of being with each other and in communicating with each other.