Psychoanalysis' judgments about patients' decentered sexual lives are often influenced by analytic ideals that are based on long-cherished cultural values and/or theoretical constructs. These analytic value judgments sometimes assume that all or most individuals are optimally fulfilled in the context of deeply intimate and sexually monogamous long-term relationships, where attachment love and sexual passion coexist in equal intensity. Such analytic aims may not at all correspond to the wishes of any given patient, nor do such aims consider the literature that suggests that what may be called attachment love is often difficult to integrate with intense erotic desire. As well, there is risk that analysts' aims for patients may be hypocritically more idealistic than the values that analysts themselves adhere to in their own personal lives. Analysts' acknowledgment and acceptance of their own imperfect sex lives and love lives may leave more room to respect the idiosyncratic compromises and adaptations of each uniquely individual patient.