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The time has come to reframe the narrow terms of the marriage debate in the United States. Conservatives are seeking to enshrine discrimination in the U.S. Constitution through the Federal Marriage Amendment. But their opposition to same-sex marriage is only one part of a broader pro-marriage, “family values” agenda that includes abstinence-only sex education, stringent divorce laws, coercive marriage promotion policies directed toward women on welfare, and attacks on reproductive freedom. Moreover, a 30-year political assault on the social safety net has left households with more burdens and constraints and fewer resources.
Meanwhile, the LGBT movement has recently focused on marriage equality as a stand-alone issue. Although this strategy may secure rights and benefits for some LGBT families, it has left us isolated and vulnerable to a virulent backlash. We must respond to the full scope of the conservative marriage agenda by building alliances across issues and constituencies. Our strategies must be visionary, creative, and practical to counter the right's powerful and effective use of marriage as a “wedge” issue that pits one group against another. The struggle for marriage rights should be part of a larger effort to strengthen the stability and security of diverse households and families. To that end, we advocate the following:
Legal recognition for a wide range of relationships, households, and families—regardless of kinship or conjugal status.
Access for all, regardless of marital or citizenship status, to vital government support programs including but not limited to
health care, housing, Social Security and pension plans, disaster recovery assistance, unemployment insurance, and welfare assistance.
Separation of church and state in all matters, including regulation and recognition of relationships, households, and families.
Freedom from state regulation of our sexual lives and gender choices, identities, and expression.
Marriage is not the o