After some introductory remarks, related to gender complexity as a sign of mature subjectivity, originating in early multiple identifications with both parents, marital relations are considered as the ongoing space for further gender definition. Extreme polarity of gender traits and roles in the couple may hinder individual development of both partners and lead to severe crises in the marriage. Two different clinical examples illustrate this statement and the way rigid psychic gender traits influence the therapeutic relationship and lead to impasses in the treatment. In both cases intervention of a “real third” reestablishes the “analytic third” and provides the resolution of the impasse.