What do I see when I gaze at an older man? What do I think he sees when he looks at me? In my case, a Chinese American gay man in my 30s, this means that we will have to talk about ethnicity, culture, age, homosexuality, and their intersection. This is a tricky subject because there are no singular ways in which people see these things. Yet it is a necessary one because they inevitably shape our experiences of others and thus our desire for them.